Trusting the Process: Why Play Therapy Can’t Be Rushed

As parents and carers, it’s natural to want to see immediate improvements in your child’s emotional well-being. When your little one embarks on the journey of play therapy, you may hope for rapid change and relief from their struggles. However, research and decades of clinical practice affirm that true healing unfolds gradually. Trusting the process, with its twists and turns, is essential for sustainable growth and deep emotional healing.

The Nature of Play Therapy

Play therapy is not a quick-fix solution. At its core, it mirrors the way children naturally learn about themselves and the world—through play. In a safe, accepting environment, your child uses toys, art, and imaginative games as a language to express their feelings and work through complex emotions. This gradual process allows them to build trust with the therapist and slowly unravel feelings that might feel overwhelming. Virginia Axline, one of the pioneers of play therapy, emphasized that sessions should move at the child’s pace. Her non-directive approach—allowing the child to lead the session where possible—helps create a space where genuine emotional expression can surface and be processed, step by step.

Why Therapy Can’t Be Rushed

  1. The Foundation of Trust

Building a strong therapeutic alliance is essential. Research indicates that the quality of the relationship between the therapist and the child is one of the best predictors of positive outcomes. This trust isn’t rushed; it blossoms over consistent sessions where the child learns that the therapy room is a safe haven.

  • Research Insight: A meta-analysis by Bratton et al. (2005) found that positive outcomes in play therapy were closely linked to the time spent building a trusting relationship. Rushing this process can prevent the deep, healing connections from forming.
  1. Emotional Safety and Self-Exploration

Children require not just a space to express feelings, but also time to explore and understand them. Therapy is an emotional journey where feelings are gradually dissected, understood, and integrated into a healthier self-concept.

  • Developmental Science: Attachment research by Bowlby and Ainsworth has long established that a secure base—developed over time—is imperative for healthy emotional development. For children in therapy, that secure base comes from a therapist who is present, patient, and consistent.
  1. The Incremental Nature of Change

Emotional healing is rarely linear. You might observe small, sometimes subtle, shifts in behaviour or mood as your child slowly navigates their inner world. These incremental changes add up over time, leading to more substantial transformations.

  • Clinical Observations: Therapists often describe progress in therapy as “small steps.” A child might one day feel more comfortable sharing a thought or show less anxiety during play. These moments, though they may initially seem insignificant, are the building blocks of broader emotional resilience.

What This Means for You as a Parent

  • Be Patient: Recognise that your child’s journey toward healing is unique. Progress might be subtle and sometimes nonlinear.
  • Celebrate Small Wins: Each session might bring small breakthroughs. Whether it’s a softer mood or a new way of expressing themselves, these gains are important milestones.
  • Stay Engaged: Continue to communicate with your child’s therapist. Ask about the milestones they observe and how you can support your child’s gradual progress at home.
  • Trust the Expertise: Therapists are trained to navigate these delicate processes. Their patient, step-by-step approach is designed to ensure that each foundational layer of healing is solid before moving to the next.

"Play is a child’s natural way of expressing what they feel, think, and experience. It’s through this process, unfolding at their own pace, that healing and growth emerge. Rushing the process disrupts the delicate rhythm of discovery. Trust in the power of play, and in the child’s ability to progress in their own time."

Gary Landreth

Embracing the Journey Ahead

Rushing therapy not only diminishes its potential but may also side-line an important part of your child’s development—the ability to learn how to trust and care for themselves over time. Healing, much like learning to walk, requires continuous support, time, and gentle guidance.

In the coming weeks and months, as you witness your child slowly gaining more confidence and expressing themselves more authentically, remember that each small step is part of a much larger transformative journey. Trusting the process, even during the slow days, is what ultimately leads to lasting change. This trust isn’t rushed; it blossoms over consistent sessions with a child learns that the therapy room is a safe haven. Moreover, when parents expressed doubt or frequently question the process, it can send mixed signals to the child, undermining the trust and safety they have come to expect in therapy; ultimately hindering the progress.

If you find yourself with lingering concerns or endless questions about the therapy process, consider reaching out to your child’s therapist. Delving deeper into how progress is measured and what milestones to look for can not only alleviate your worries but also empower you to support your child even more effectively. If you child detects your worries or doubts, they will

Feeling the weight of the journey is normal—so is the tremendous progress that comes with patience and trust. As you continue this journey, consider exploring more about how therapeutic alliances foster long-term change in children, or how the subtle art of play in therapy has reshaped our understanding of emotional well-being in young minds. The more you understand, the more confidently you can support your child in embracing their unique path to healing.